Hanging on the Telephone
by kaykyaka
Summary: Don't hang up on the ones you love.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Hanging on the Telephone

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K

Characters: Maria, John Cena, Trish Stratus, Johnny Nitro, Melina, Batista, Edge, Lita, Torrie Wilson, Hunter  
Summary: Don't hang up on the ones you love

Chapter 1

On the phone a little later:

"And then he asked if he could come over isn't that weird?"

"Yeah totally,"

"What's going on here Trish?"

"I don't know but I'm pretty glad I didn't get roped into babysitting for the Batistas tonight,"

"Well that would be a little weird being that you're in the hospital,"

"Yeah,"

"Sorry I hit you so hard but I did warn you,"

"Yes you did, I'll be outta here pretty soon though, how come your Dad was in the hospital for so long?"

"I hit him in the head remember?"

"Oh, right,"

"Pretty bad, right?"

"Right. Was that the door?"

"Johnny?"

"Did you just say Johnny as in Nitro Johnny?"

"Who's that?"

"Nobody,"

"Excuse me?"

"Honey I'll call you back,"

"Isn't this like the second time he's been around today?"

"Call you back,"

"Maria I don't like this tell him to get lost– Maria! "

"Okay one question: wearing sunglasses at night is so over,"

"That's not a question,"

"I haven't asked it yet, what are you doing here?"

"What's the matter? 'Fraid Cena's gonna get jealous if he finds out I was here?"

"Huh?"

"Come on everybody knows, he talks about you all the time,"

"Is that what you came over to tell me?"

"Can I please come in?"

"I told you I was on my way out, "

"Anywhere special?"

"Haven't we discussed this already?"

"Why where are you going?"

"To baby-sit remember?"

"I thought you left already?"

"I got caught up talking to Trish,"

"About?"

"Excuse me?"

"What were you talking to Trish about?"

"Okay I'm sorry you have to go,"

"Maria please---"

"Goodbye Johnny – gees! Hello?"

"Maria, I have a very uneasy feeling about this,"

"Don't worry he's gone, hang on I've got call waiting. What up JC. Baby-sitting, for Batista.

I should have gotten outta here but I got held up – hang on John. Hello? Hey Trish,"

"Why did he come back!"

"I know, but I told him that I was leaving and that he had to go,"

"Yeah but didn't you say that before?

"Yeah?"

"Well sweetie, if he didn't listen to you that time what makes you think he's gonna listen to you this time?"

"But I told Dave I'd be there, could you call him and tell him I'm on my way?"

"Can't you ask him to pick you up?"

"I can't, Cena's waiting on the other line,"

"Well ask him to drop you over to the Batistas then,"

"Okay, I'll call you when I get there,"

"What was that?"

"Trish he's still out there, Trish he is stalking me!"

"Okay tell Cena to pick you up now!"

"Okay – Johnny!"

"Maria!"

"Hey Maria,"

"How did you get in?"

"I put the door on the latch when you weren't looking,"

"Okay I'm officially freaked out what do you want Nitro?"

"I want to talk to you about something,"

"Yeah I'm pretty aware of that, what is it?"

"It's – it's about Dave and Melina,"

"What about them?"

"I was hoping you could tell me,"

"They kissed on Smackdown,"

"Right, right,"

"It was hot,"

"Go on,"

"That's it,"

"So you don't think they're having an affair or anything?"

"Gees I sure hope not, I'm baby-sitting for them tonight I don't even wanna think about that,"

"I wanna come with you,"

"Why?"

"You know just to get a feel for the Dave Batista household, see what kind of people they are get to know them a little better,"

"You wanna quiz his daughters about their father am I right?"

"Right, c'mon I'll give you a ride over,"

"Thanks Nitro but I think I'll pass,"

"But you're gonna be late,"

"No I'm not Cena's picking me up – you still there JC? I need a lift to Batista's house, oh you the man John – hey give me that back!"

"What up JC? Nitro here, just to say I'm heading over to Dave's house myself so don't worry about it I'll give Maria a lift. Sure I'll keep my hands on the steering wheel, later, Oh you wanna ask Maria something? Well that makes two of us, Later. Oops, he got disconnected, I hate it when that happens,"

"Oh you have got to be kidding me, I saw you press the 'end call' button, it's a good thing you said goodbye before you hung up on him too,"

"Well I don't mind talking to John Cena but I'd much rather talk to you Maria,"

"I have nothing to say and even if I did I wouldn't tell you, you're already acting like a freak,"

"So you do know something!"

"Give me the phone!"

"Maria are they having an affair or not, just tell me and I'll go okay?"

"Nitro you're really starting to bug me,"

"I need to know what's going on between those two,"

"You got one more chance to give me that phone, that's probably Trish give it here!"

"Hello?"

"Hello this is Dave Batista, can I speak to Maria please?"

"Sure Dave, she's just fixing her hair but she says to tell you that she's on her way over,"

"Right and who is this?"

"Erm, Johnny Nitro?"

"Well it's my lucky day I was hoping to catch you at some point this week,"

"You were, why?"

"So I could tell you that if you harass Maria one more time or ask her about me and my marriage, I will personally come over there and kick your ass! Now, are we clear?"

"Yes Dave, crystal,"

"Good, now I'd like to speak to the lady of the house,"

"Sure thing big man, Maria, it's Dave Batista,"

"You're going?"

"Yeah on second thought I'm not feeling so good, I think I'll pass on coming with you to Dave's house. See ya,"

"Well bye then,"

"Is he gone?"

"Yeah Dave he's gone, you scared him good he was shaking like a leaf,"

"Cena called and said he was over there and Trish called a little later talking about how he wouldn't leave, I had to do something,"

"You're a good man Dave, I don't know why people are always talking smack about you,"

"Well as long as I have people like you defending my integrity I'll be alright,"

"No problem big D, I'll be over in a second okay?"

"Actually I think you're presence would be better served in the hospital visiting a very concerned seven times Women's Champion, I'll say home with the wife and kids tonight,"

"She seriously stressed out?"

"She's already left four messages on my voicemail,"

"Sometimes that Diva is just too diva,"

"Well go and calm her down before she files a police report,"

"Okay, hey Dave if you want I could come over later and stay with the girls while you and Angie have a night out?"

"You know Maria a night in with my girls and my wife is kind of something I don't get to do too often, I think I'll make the most of it tonight,"

"Okay, well have a great night and take care of yourself okay?"

"Only if you do the same,"

"Okay, bye,"

"Bye Maria,"

"Hello?"

"Maria it's me,"

"Hey John,"

"Trish insisted I pick you up, girl had me convinced you were being held hostage,"

"Don't act like you're not worried Cena,"

"What me worry, about you? Never,"

"Well there's this rumour going around that you're into me, how much water does that bag hold?"

"Now Maria, you should know better than to listen to rumours,"

"Okay then listen to this, it's the sound of me hanging up,"

"Hey don't leave me hanging on the telephone like some punk,"

"Well then hurry up Johnny boy, a stranger could break in here any second!"

"You mean like this?"

"So you finally came over,"

"So you finally started taking my calls,"

"Okay let's go,"

"Aren't you gonna hang up the phone?"

"No, you've got such a nice telephone voice,"

"Come on you crazy girl put the phone down, let's go see the Diva Most Likely to Kick Our Butts,"

"You hang up first,"

"No you hang up first,"

"No you!"

"No you – Maria are you crazy I'm standing right in front of you! Give me that phone – don't run!"

"I wasn't running I was walking in the opposite direction,"

"Well why don't you put all your focus in this direction, right here, right now?"

"Okay together on the count of three: 1-2-3!"

"Hey you didn't hang up!"

"You did!"

"So?"

"So you just hung up on our relationship!"

"We have a relationship?"

"We might have if you didn't just hang up on me!"

"Okay I'm calling you back,"

"Don't bother, come on let's go Trish is waiting,"

"Okay let me just leave this message: Maria, hi this is John Cena and I just called to say that I'm totally hung up on you, please call me back as soon as you get this message,"

"Hello John?"

"Maria hi! I just left a message on your answer phone,"

"Yeah and I loved it, now I know how you feel about me so now maybe we can do something about it,"

"You wanna go out and see a movie?"

"We could do that,"

"Or go for a ride somewhere?"

"We could do that, hang on I've got call waiting – Hey Trish!"

"Where's Johnny, where's Cena? Tell me everything that happened!"

"We're on our way over now, I tell you when we get there,"

"Can't you just tell me real quick over the phone?"

"Nah I'd rather tell you to your face,"

"Why?"

"I dunno, it's just that it's come to my attention that talking on the phone is a really over-rated experience, we'll be there is a minute, sit tight,"

"You're gonna leave me hanging on the telephone like some punk?"

"I'd rather see you before the hospital closes,"

"Okay okay, just one thing though,"

"What? Argh my battery just died, Cena can I borrow your phone?"

"Sure,"

"Argh!"

"What's wrong?"

"She's not answering,"

"So? The sooner we get to the hospital, the sooner y'all can hug it out, c'mon. Hey what's wrong?"

"Nothing, it's just that I don't want Trish to think I hung up on her,"

"So what you're gonna see her in a few minutes? Then you can explain that you didn't,"

"Yeah but I'd rather she was there when we arrived, I mean, you know what happens when you hang up on someone don't you Cena?"

"Maria, let's go before I officially go nuts,"

At the hospital:

"Aren't you gonna answer that Miss Stratus?"

"Sorry nurse but those things are deadly, you answer it!"

"Hello? About 3 weeks, bye then,"

"Who was it?"

"Some wrestler wondering how long you have to go before your arm heals so that you can teach them how to wrestle?"

"Hey nurse do me a favour?"

"Yes Miss Stratus,"

"Throw that thing out the window!"

"Okay – oops!"

"What?"

"There was some girl on her way in and I just threw the phone at her!"

"Trish, why did you throw your phone at Maria?"

"Nobody hangs up on Trish Stratus, John Cena, nobody,"

"Hello? Is this Trish Stratus? Just a quick message to say I'm hanging up on you,"

"You're funny, now do me a favour real quick, hit me with that WWE Championship real hard,"

"Trish don't ever do that again!"

"Well don't ever hang up on me!"

"I didn't my battery died, I would never hang up on you,"

"Good, because you know what would happen,"

"I sure do,"

"What'll happen?"

"You mean you don't know? Tell him Maria,"

"It's this rule you see; you can't hang up on the person you're talking without saying goodbye because if you do they'll disappear,"

"What?"

"Yeah, so you have to say goodbye at the end of every conversation before you hang up,"

"Because if you don't, it means you don't care about them and they disappear, forever,"

"Give me a break you guys,"

"It's true Cena so don't do it!"

"Okay but it's not like I mean it,"

"I miss you Trish!"

"Oh I miss you too Maria!"

"You guys spend way too much time together,"

"It's better than spending an eternity apart,"

"Trish, Maria!"

"Edge!"

"Guys I need your help,"

"Change shampoos,"

"No guys this is serious, something's happened to Lita!"

"What she finally come to her senses and break up with your ass?"

"Shut up Cena I'm not even talking to you. You know that thing that you guys say will happen if you hang up on someone?"

"Yeah?"

"Well I think it might have happened to Lita,"

"What do you mean where is she?"

"That's just it I don't know, we had an argument last week and I put the phone down on her. After that she never called me back and nobody's seen her around,"

"So she's disappeared?"

"I've been looking for her for a week, she's gone,"

"HUH!"

Meanwhile at Abbeyville, a deserted mansion in the middle of nowhere:

"Hello? Edge? Can anybody hear me?"

"Forget it kid, you're as good as gone,"

"Who's that? Wait a minute, Torrie!"

"I know I can hardly believe it myself,"

"I hardly recognize you your hair's all grown out,"

"There's no peroxide down here, I checked,"

"What are you doing down here?"

"Me and Billy had a fight,"

"So?"

"Well why are you down here?"

"I don't know,"

"Did you and Edge have a fight?"

"Well, yeah but---"

"So there's your answer,"

"Okay I am so not getting this,"

"Didn't Trish ever tell you that story about what happens if you hang up on someone?"

"What that if you hang up on someone without saying their name they disappear?"

"Yeah,"

"You believe that crap?"

"Well did Edge hang up on you?"

"Yeah,"

"Then you're screwed sister, c'mon I'll introduce you to the others,"

"Others?"

"Yeah, you didn't think you were the only person ever hung up on after an argument did you?"

Back at the hospital:

"Okay how about we go look for her?"

"Didn't you hear what the man said he looked already,"

"Well she couldn't have disappeared into thin air?"

"Didn't you hear me Cena? If you hang up on the person you're talking to, they disappear!"

"Ooh and I suppose there's such things as the Boogeyman or vampires too,"

"This has nothing to do with witchcraft, it's about love,"

"Love?"

"Yes love and what happens when you hurt someone you care about by hanging up on them,"

"Married people cuss each other out all the time and they don't disappear?"

"The telephone was invented for communication, slamming down the phone spits in the face of that,"

"So you're saying it's a curse?"

"Guys, Lita?"

"Quiet Edge!"

"What did I do?"

"You hung up on her, you hung up on your relationship!"

"I was angry she was saying some horrible stuff to me,"

"So you still shouldn't have hung up on her,"

"You would have if you heard what she was saying,"

"Well would you rather have her gone or here cussing you out?"

"Here,"

"Well then you should think more carefully before you act, right Cena?"

"Hey what did I do?"

"You hung up on me, luckily I was standing right in front of you so nothing happened,"

"Wait you were with him but you were talking to him on the phone?"

"She's obsessed with phones,"

"They're the best way to communicate,"

"I don't know what about touching?"

"Talking on the phone's what you do when you can't touch someone, you touch them with your voice,"

"That's sweet,"

"I know Edge and that's what you should be like all the time, well at least when you're on the phone with your girlfriend,"

"Maria if you heard the things she way saying---"

"What did she say?"

"Mostly, that she was gonna leave me – for you!"

"What!"

"We gotta find her now!"

"Cena you like Lita?"

"Sorry Maria but I gotta get with a chick that puts out!"

"Argh!"

"Nurse, I've got two men fighting in my room!"

"Well maybe if you'd button up your robe Miss Stratus,"

"Ooops!"

"Hey Trish can I borrow that?"

"Honey please, if cheap and easy is what Cena's looking for then maybe it's best you guys don't get together,"

"But I really like him, I need to talk to Lita,"

"For what?"

"To convince her to stay with Edge,"

"But she's gone babe,"

"Well let's get her back,"

"How? Oh no,"

"It's the only way Trish---"

"No, no way, I am not letting you disappear, you're my girl!"

"Lita was your girl once, wouldn't you do the same for her?"

"Maria I'm not hanging up on you I may never see you again!"

"Well I'll always have our friendship to remember you by,"

"Maria are you nuts? You're willing to go into the unknown just to keep Lita away from Cena?"

"Either that or convince Edge to stop trying to find her,"

"I say we go with that option,"

"There's no way I'm giving up on Lita, not now Cena's after her,"

"Edge, there's plenty of other girls out there that'll put out for you,"

"Yeah but not like my Rated R Princess, I want her back,"

"Where's Cena?"

"He went to call around to see if anyone knows how to bring Lita back,"

"He left me here?"

"Maria he's not worth it!"

"Exactly and Lita needs to know that,"

"Exactly, Edge I'll talk to Lita,"

"You will? How?"

"It's simple just hang up on me,"

"Deal!"

"Edge you don't know what you're doing!"

"If Lita comes back I want her to know that I'm sorry and that I'll do anything to make it up to her,"

"Yeah _if_ she comes back, _if_,"

"And she will,"

"That's the spirit Maria!"

"Oh please she doesn't know how to bring her back!"

"No but I'm sure you'll figure it out Trish,"

"Me?"

"Yes you. Hello?"

"Edge don't!"

Okay I'm leaving, hang up on me in ten seconds,"

"Okay, thank you Maria, we'll find a way to bring you back I promise,"

"Maria come back here!"

"Okay now I'll call her back to see if she'll answer,"

"Is she there?"

"No, she's gone,"

"I'm gonna kill you!"

"Nurse, nurse!"


	2. Chapter 2

Title: Hanging on the Telephone

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K

Characters: Maria, John Cena, Trish Stratus, Johnny Nitro, Melina, Batista, Edge, Lita, Torrie Wilson, Hunter  
Summary: Don't hang up on the ones you love

Chapter 2

Meanwhile back at Abbeyville:

"Hey how's it going, can I get you ladies anything?"

"Who are you?"

"I'm the owner of this house, my name's Carl nice to meet you,"

"Hey Carl, I'm Maria,"

"What's up Maria,"

"Nothing I just need to find my friend, her name's Lita have you seen her?"

"Long red hair?"

"Yeah, she's here,"

"She okay?"

"Uh-huh, she playing with my daughter in the living room, I'll take you to them,"

In the living room:

"Whoa, bad hair day Torrie?"

"Maria, who would hang up on you?"

"The same person who hung up on you,"

"That SOB sure got over me quick,"

"Hey will you play with me?"

"Not now little girl I have to talk to Lita,"

"Fine I guess nobody wants to talk to me,"

"I'll talk to you Torrie!"

"Thanks Annabel, but I already know the alphabet,"

"Can you count to 100?"

"I think so,"

"Let's practice okay?"

"Okay, I'll leave you guys to talk,"

"Where are they going?"

"Upstairs, you would not believe how many rooms there are in this place, you want a tour?"

"Maybe later right now we need to talk,"

"Man it sure is nice having you guys here, Annabel and I haven't had any company so chilled out,"

"What do you mean?"

"Well most people kinda freak out when they realise they've been abandoned by the ones who were supposed to care about them,"

"I don't care if I ever see Edge again so what have I got to be freaked out about?"

"That doesn't matter as much as whether or not he ever wants to see you again,"

"Huh?"

"These rooms are filled with people who've been abandoned, they've never heard from their loved ones ever since they got here. That's enough to unnerve even the most together of people,"

"I'M NEVER GONNA GET OUT OF HERE, I'M NEVER GONNA GET OUT OF HERE!"

"Whoa!"

"That was Clara,"

"How long's she been here?"

"Going on eight months now,"

"Oh man what have I gotten myself into?"

"I don't care, I've got nothing worth going back for,"

"Lita you don't mean that?"

"I do Maria, I do,"

"I think you're gonna be pretty happy here, come I'll show you to your room,"


	3. Chapter 3

Title: Hanging on the Telephone

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K

Characters: Maria, John Cena, Trish Stratus, Johnny Nitro, Melina, Batista, Edge, Lita, Torrie Wilson, Hunter  
Summary: Don't hang up on the ones you love

Chapter 3

Back at the hospital:

"You know Triple H has been asking everybody when you're coming back to work, what gives?"

"Edge, I'm not talking to you right now okay?"

"Well look, if Lita disappeared because I put the phone down on her, maybe writing her a letter will bring her back?"

"Edge that is the dumbest thing I have ever heard,"

"Well I don't know about this stuff it's your stupid spell,"

"It's not mine you'd think I'd do something like this and have Maria disappear? You on the other hand I don't think I'd have a problem with,"

"Come on Trish, how did you hear about this in the first place?"

"Because it happened to a friend of mine okay,"

"Details,"

"I was seeing this guy for a real long time and just as things started to get serious I found out he had a wife and a little girl, I got mad and put the phone down on him and never saw him again. His wife called me asking where he was and I said I didn't know. A few days later she called me back and said that she found out about the two of us and that she wished he would go somewhere and never come back and he never did. Only problem was her little girl was with him at the time and she disappeared along with her father. The mother's been trying to find them ever since,"

"That's terrible, oh Lita!"

"Yes poor Lita, nevermind Maria. Edge we've got to get them back here but how?"

"I know how,"

"What on Earth are you doing here?"

Back at Abbeyville:

"How long have you been here?"

"Almost three years now, I've kind of made this place a home for me and Annabel,"

"Wouldn't you rather be in your real home?"

"That's never gonna happen Maria,"

"But you can't be happy here,"

"Yes I can, I have to be. I deserve it after what I did,"

"What did you do?"

"I cheated on my wife with another woman,"

"Lita?"

"Hey!"

"No but I probably would have if our paths had crossed, I used to be a real player,"

"What happened after your wife found out?"

"What do you think she hung up on me,"

"And then you came here?"

"Yeah, she said she never wanted to see me again and she never will,"

"That's so sad,"

"But it's reality okay? Sometimes people just shouldn't be together,"

"Lita listen to me, Edge loves you, he's crazy about you he didn't mean it he doesn't want you to go away,"

"Oh yeah, how do you know that?"

"He came to see Trish and told her that you went missing and we told him about the telephone rule,"

"He was worried about me?"

"Lita he's been looking for you for a week,"

"Even after what I said to him?"

"Especially after what you said to him, you think he wants to lose you to another man?"

"I just thought that I'd try a new relationship, me and Edge you know it's so 2005,"

"Lita notice how far back my eyes are rolling into the back of my head,"

"Hey Carl you're no saint either,"

"Exactly and look where we are, both of us looking to destroy something we've spend ages taking for granted, let me tell you Lita it won't take long before you end up alone like me. Take it from me sister don't throw your love away, I'm sure this guy Edge is far from perfect but look in the mirror honey, nobody is,"

"Yeah leave Cena alone okay? I know someone who's pretty keen on him,"

"Keen enough to risk a life wondering aimlessly in the unknown to prevent him from getting with a certain red-haired diva?"

"Who could she be talking about Maria?"

"I have no idea Carl, some crazy totally caught-up chick,"

"Yeah I think she lives at 122 Maria Drive on Maria Avenue,"

"Hey honey where's Torrie?"

"She's gone,"

"What?"

"She disappeared,"


	4. Chapter 4

Title: Hanging on the Telephone

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K

Characters: Maria, John Cena, Trish Stratus, Johnny Nitro, Melina, Batista, Edge, Lita, Torrie Wilson, Hunter  
Summary: Don't hang up on the ones you love

Chapter 4

At the hospital:

"Hey Trish nice to see you too,"

"Melina? I thought you were going out with Dave tonight,"

"I was but after someone called and decided to play the jealous boyfriend he decided to veto the whole arrangement,"

"Good you shouldn't be seeing him anyway,"

"I wasn't I was just trying something new,"

"You mean trying to try something new, my sources tell me Dave wouldn't even give you the time of day and that he was going out with Angie tonight not you,"

"What can I say some guys just love their wives and children, anyway I can help you get your friends back,"

"Great how?"

"Uh-uh, not so fast. I need a favour first,"

"Uh-oh here we go,"

"Trish would you mind twisting Vince's arm and getting him to sign me to RAW?"

"Why, afraid Nitro's gonna flip out in a jealous rage when Dave comes back to Smackdown?"

"Man you're smarter than you look, I mean, you're not as blonde as you act, I mean---"

"I'll do it I'll do it,"

"I'm sorry it's just so hard for me to be nice,"

"I know you're a total bitch,"

"Wow praise from Trish Stratus,"

"I meant every word,"

"As much as I love the idea of having even more women on RAW Melina, there is one in particular that I would love to see right now so if you don't mind,"

"Yeah make with the remedy already,"

"I already have,"

"Hey Trish what's up!"

"Torrie? What are you doing here?"

"John Cena that's how,"

"Erm Champ, how did you do it?"

"Well it's quite simple. Remember when I hung up on Maria and I called her back and told her I thought she was hot? Well I told Billy Kidman to do the same thing, so he called me and told me how he felt about Torrie and here she is!"

"Here I am!"

"Yes Torrie there you are, so you're saying that two people who've previously hung up on people they've cared about have to call each other and talk about how much they care about the person and they'll come back?"

"That's all it takes,"

"Melina how did you know this?"

"Both Joey and I hung up on Nitro and he disappeared, it was only when we called each other back and said we missed him that he re-appeared, it was the craziest thing. It happened to us almost every other week, we finally worked out what was going on,"

"Yeah great, thanks for coming by,"

"No problem, anything for a fellow RAW diva?"

"What's that?"

"I'll explain later,"

"Yeah, see you all next Monday night!"

"What is she talking about?"

"I said I'll explain later, Edge I think we have a phone call to make?"

"Wait a minute Trish, Cena I need you to back off my girl okay?"

"Dude she's all yours,"

"What really?"

"Yeah I mean with Melina on RAW I just got myself another reason to piss off Nitro!"

"Okay now that's what I'm talking about!"

"Edge calm down and Cena, hands off Melina stick to the girl you know, I know and everybody else on this fricken planet knows likes you the most, okay?"

"Yeah Cena, Maria's had if for you since like forever. She was trying to convince Lita to back off you the whole time we were gone,"

"Really?"

"Yeah she's hot for you dude, take it as a sign, this girl crossed over into some unknown universe just to stake her claim on you. Do the right thing and make her journey into nothingness worthwhile,"

"I think we got through to him guys,"

"Yeah, I don't blush that much when I'm wearing rouge,"

"Shut up Stratus, are you gonna make the call or what?"

"Okay let's do it, what the - Hunter? 3 weeks man, maybe, look I'm kind of busy right now – hey Edge give me that, wait, no hang up!"

"NO DON'T!"


	5. Chapter 5

Title: Hanging on the Telephone

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.  
Ratings: K

Characters: Maria, John Cena, Trish Stratus, Johnny Nitro, Melina, Batista, Edge, Lita, Torrie Wilson, Hunter  
Summary: Don't hang up on the ones you love

Chapter 5

Ten minutes later:

"Okay you can all get out of my room now, it Friday night go have fun,"

"No I wanna stay here with you,"

"Maria you have a boyfriend now,"

"Oh yeah, Cena let's go it's Friday night there must be a million things we could do,"

"Wanna go back to the hotel and watch Smackdown?"

"Yeah that sounds like fun, except for MNM, I hate that Melina she's such a bitch,"

"Oh she's not that bad,"

"Says you,"

"Well I'd warm up to her if I were you,"

"Why?"

"I'll tell you on Monday, bye guys!"

"See ya – Edge, Lita, please work on those telephone skills over the weekend,"

"We will,"

"There's always room for improvement, starting with me,"

"Do my ears deceive me or did my girlfriend just say that she's gonna be a nicer girlfriend?"

"I don't wanna end up in a big house all alone Edge,"

"I don't think there's a room I wouldn't want to have you in,"

"Okay that's enough, goodnight guys!"

"Bye Trish!"

"Better get back to Billy he's probably worried silly,"

"So what did you guys do in that big house all by yourselves?"

"Well we weren't exactly alone the place was full of people that had been hung up on. The host was this really nice guy called Carl,"

"Carl?"

"Yeah, he had a little girl whose name was Annabel,"

"Annabel?"

"Yeah, he cheated on his wife and when she found out she said she never wanted to see him again and well I guess she never will. Shame too, he knows he made a mistake, I wonder if she'd ever wanna see him again. Shame nobody knows who she is,"

"Yeah real shame,"

"Bye Trish, please do the right thing,"

"Bye Torrie, don't worry, I'll call her,"

"At a girl,"

"So you were the woman Carl was having an affair with?"

"Hunter don't you have a pregnant wife to go home to?"

"Nah, I think I'll stay and help you get better, after all you gotta help me win my next match,"

"Hunter I said I'm not doing that anymore I told you now get outta here it's almost midnight!"

"I got all the time in the world for you babe,"

"Nurse?"

"What is it Miss Stratus?"

"Erm could you get Shawn Michaels on the phone and tell him Triple H is asking Trish Stratus to help him win his next match?"

"Sure thing dear,"

"Oh yeah like a nurse is gonna have Shawn Michaels' phone number,"

"She should, she's his nurse too,"

"What?"

"I believe your cellphone is ringing,"

"Hello? Shawn? What no, c'mon why would I need a woman's help? I just wanted to try it once, I can't stand losing to the Spirit Squad again, well what do you think I should do about it?"

"I don't know how about you suck it up?"

"What did you say Trish?"

"I said suck it up!"

"Suck it . . . suck it! Shawn don't go to bed yet, I think I just saved us another attack from the Spirit Squirts, I'm coming to your room, bye,"

"Ew what was that for?"

"A kiss of appreciation, Trish Stratus you're a genius! Later,"

"If it gets any later I'm never gonna get any sleep but before I do . . . Hey Jessica? It's Trish Stratus. How would you like to be re-united with Carl and Annabel? How? Do you miss them? Do you love them? Well then consider this the best present you ever got from the woman who nearly ruined your family. Goodbye honey and have a good life,"

"Have a good life yourself Trish,"

"Carl, Annabel!"

"We better get going, we've been gone for awhile,"

"She'll be waiting for you,"

"Thanks to you,"

"Just promise you'll never call me again,"

"I've already forgotten your name,"

"It's Trish Stratus and it's time for her to get some sleep,"

"Anyone who is still here I've got two words for you – get out!"

"And I've got two words for you – speedy recovery,"

"Touché nurse, touché,"

The End


End file.
